Avenue Q Musical Lyrics

The Money Song

Please find the lyrics to 'The Money Song' below.

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The Money Song Lyrics

    NICKY
    Help the homeless!
    Help the homeless!
    Ooh! Hey Princeton!

    Give me a quarter!
    Here in my hat!
    Come on, Princeton!
    It’s as easy as that!
    Helping others brings you
    Closer to God.
    So give me a quarter...

    PRINCETON
    I don’t have any change.

    NICKY
    Hmmm....okay.

    Give me a dollar.

    PRINCETON
    That’s not what I meant.

    NICKY
    Give me a five.

    PRINCETON
    Are you kidding?

    NICKY
    The more you give.
    The more you get.
    That’s being alive!
    All I’m asking you
    Is to do what
    Jesus Christ would do.
    He’d give me a quarter,
    Why don’t you?

    PRINCETON
    All right, all right, here you go.

    NICKY
    Ahh, thanks!

    PRINCETON
    Take care.
    Whoa!

    NICKY
    What’s the matter?

    PRINCETON
    I feel generous!
    I feel compassionate!

    NICKY
    You do?

    PRINCETON
    Yeah! I feel like a new person - a good person!
    Helping other people out makes you feel fantastic!

    NICKY
    That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you-

    PRINCETON
    All this time I’ve been running around thinking
    about me, me, me - and where has it gotten me!
    I’m gonna do something for someone else!

    NICKY
    Me?

    PRINCETON
    No - Kate! I’m going to raise the money to build that
    stupid Monster School she’s always talking about!

    Give me your money!

    NICKY
    What?

    PRINCETON
    I need it for Kate!

    NICKY
    I need it to eat!

    PRINCETON
    Come on, Nicky!

    NICKY
    Aww, get lost!

    PRINCETON
    It’ll make you feel great!

    NICKY
    So would a burger!

    PRINCETON
    When her dream comes true,
    It’ll all be partly
    Thanks to you
    So give me your money!

    NICKY
    I’d like to, but I can’t.

    PRINCETON
    Give me your money!

    NICKY
    I’d like to, but I need it!

    PRINCETON
    Give me your money!

    NICKY
    I’d like to, but I’m homeless!
    I can’t! I need it! I’m homeless!
    I can’t! I need it! I’m homeless!
    I can’t! I need it! I’m homeless!
    Okay, here you go.

    PRINCETON
    Thank you!

    NICKY
    Suddenly,
    I am feeling
    Closer to God.
    It’s time to stop begging
    It’s time to start giving!
    What can I give to Rod?

    Something he’ll like so much he’ll take me back.
    Ooh, I know! I’ll find him a boyfriend!

    PRINCETON
    That’s the spirit!

    BOTH
    When you help others,
    You can’t help helping yourself!
    When you help others,
    You can’t help helping yourself!

    GARY COLEMAN
    Hey boys, what’s the hat for?

    NICKY
    Ooh, we’re collecting money!

    PRINCETON
    It’s for Kate! We’re raising money to help build her dream school!

    Give us your money!

    NICKY
    You’ll be glad that you did!

    GARY COLEMAN
    That’s just what my parents told me
    When I was a kid.

    Shit.

    NICKY
    But giving feels so great...

    GARY COLEMAN
    And I bet it wouldn’t hurt
    Your chances with Kate.

    PRINCETON
    Well, that too.

    GARY COLEMAN
    I’ll give you a dollar.

    PRINCETON
    You’re a gentleman
    And a scholar.

    CHRISTMAS EVE
    We so happy! We just exchange all your wedding gifts for cash!

    BRIAN
    Honey, don’t tell THEM that!

    CHRISTMAS EVE
    We get about 2,000 bucks!

    BRIAN
    Uh, yeah, so - thanks, everybody!

    CHRISTMAS EVE
    We rich!

    PRINCETON
    Give us your money!

    NICKY
    Give us your money!

    GARY COLEMAN
    Give us your goddamn money!

    PRINCETON
    Give us the dough!

    NICKY & GARY COLEMAN
    Give us the dough!

    PRINCETON, NICKY & GARY COLEMAN
    We’re raising money
    For a Monster School
    But we’ve got a ways to go.

    PRINCETON
    Sounds like you’ve
    Got money to burn

    NICKY
    And it’s not like money
    That you had to earn.

    PRINCETON, NICKY & GARY COLEMAN
    So give us your money -

    CHRISTMAS EVE
    A monster school?

    BRIAN
    Sounds like a good cause.

    CHRISTMAS EVE
    Give me your wallet.

    PRINCETON
    Oh my gosh! I don’t know how to thank you guys.
    I mean, Kate will be so grateful!
    That kind of money is such a great start...

    GARY COLEMAN
    Yeah, $15.

    PRINCETON
    $15?

    CHRISTMAS EVE
    Every little bit help.

    NICKY
    Looks like we’re gonna have to ask MORE people!

    ALL
    Hey!
    Give us your money!
    All that you’ve got!
    Just fork it on over...

    GARY COLEMAN
    Or some puppets
    Will get shot!

    PRINCETON
    Hey!

    ALL
    It’s time to pass the hat

    GARY COLEMAN
    And there’s nothing you can do ‘bout that

    ALL
    So give us your money!
    Give us your money!
    Give us your money!
    When you help others,
    You can’t help helping yourself!
    When you help others,
    You can’t help helping yourself!
    Every time you
    Do good deeds
    You’re also serving
    Your own needs.
    When you help others,
    You can’t help helping yourself!
    When you give
    To a worthy cause
    You’ll feel as jolly
    As Santa Clause.
    When you help others,
    You can’t
    Help
    Helping yourself!