The Book Of Mormon Musical Lyrics

Joseph Smith American Moses

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Joseph Smith American Moses Lyrics

    And now we wish to honor you with
    The story of Joseph Smith, the American Moses

    Well, this is very good, praise Christ


    I'm going to take you back in time
    To the United States, 1823

    A small and odd village called Upstate New York
    There was disease and famine
    (So sick)

    But also in this village lived a simple farmer
    Who would change everything
    His name was Joseph Smith

    Hiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiya Joseph Smith, American Moses
    Praise be to Joseph, American prophet man

    Aye, my name is Joseph Smith
    And I am going to fuck this baby

    No no Joseph, don't fuck the baby
    Joseph Smith, don't fuck the baby

    Suddenly the clouds parted
    And Joseph Smith was visited by God
    Joseph Smith, do not fuck a baby
    I will get rid of your AIDS, if you fuck this frog


    Joseph Smith fucked the frog God gave him
    And his AIDS went away
    Then a great wizard named Moroni came down
    From the Starship Enterprise

    Joseph Smith, your village is shit
    You shall lead the villagers to a new village
    Take these fucking golden plates


    And on the plates were written the directions to a new land
    Sal Tlay Ka Siti
    (Sal Tlay Ka Siti)
    Joseph tried to convince all the villagers
    To follow him and his golden plates

    Liberation, equality
    No more slavery for Upstate Mormon people

    I got de golden plates
    (Gold plates)
    I'm gonna lead the people
    (We head West)

    We gotta stick together
    We gotta help each other
    (We're Mormons)

    And so we climb the mountain
    (We head West)
    And we cross the river
    (We head West)

    And we fight the oppression
    By being nice to everyone
    (We are Mormons)

    Not so fast Mormons, you shall not pass my mountain

    Down from the mountain look who comes
    The American warlord Brigham Young

    Yes, I am Brigham Young
    I cut off my daughter's clitoris
    That made God angry so he turned my nose
    Into a clit for punishment

    Brigham Young, his nose was a clitoris
    What will you do Joseph, will you fight the clitoris man

    Not fight him, help him


    Joseph Smith took his magical fuck frog
    And rubbed it upon Brigham Young's clit face
    And behold Brigham was cured

    Joseph Smith magical AIDS frog
    Brigham Young, frog on his clit face

    Brigham Young was so grateful
    He decided to join the Mormons on their journey

    Compassion, cutesy
    Let's be really fucking polite to everyone

    I got de golden plates
    (Gold plates)
    I'm gonna lead the people
    (We head West)
    We gotta stick together

    Now comes the part of our story that gets a little bit sad
    After traveling for so long, the Mormons ran out of fresh water
    And become sick with dysentery

    Water go to the water, water go to the cup
    Cup go to the stomach, shit come out the butt
    Shit go in the water, water go in the cup
    Shit go down the stomach, shit come out the butt

    Ugh, oh fuck
    Oh no, the prophet Joseph Smith is now getting sick

    Shit go in the water, water go in the cup
    Cup go to the thirsty, shit go to the stomach
    Blood come out the butt, blood go in the water
    Water go in the cup, cup go to the tongue
    Shit blood in the stomach, shit blood in the mouth
    Shit blood on the insides, water come out the butt

    Brigham Young you must take the golden plates
    And lead the Mormons to the Promised Land
    Desperation, mortality, loss of faith

    I got de golden plates
    (Gold plates)
    I'm got to lead the people
    (We head West)
    We gotta stick together

    Even though their prophet had died
    The Mormons stuck together
    And helped each other and were really nice
    To everyone they came across

    And then one day the Mormons finally found
    Sal Tlay Ka Siti
    (Sal Tlay Ka Siti)
    And there, the Mormons danced with Ewoks
    And were greeted by Jesus

    Welcome Mormons
    Now, let's all have as many babies as we can
    And make big Mormon families

    Fuck your woman, fuck your man
    This is all part of God's plan
    Mormons fuck all that they can
    We're in Salt Lake City land

    Thank you, thank you but now we are fucking
    Thank you, thank you, but God wants us fucking
    Thank you, thank you, but get back to fucking
    Thank you, thank you, God

    Joseph Smith fuck frog
    Brigham Young clit face
    Shit come out the butt
    Jesus says fuck, fuck